In which TastyPrawn uses a magazine article to reflect upon herself and probably reavels a little too much in the process.

Recently (Sunday evening) I was reading an article in WIRED magazine about Jill Price, a woman who (supposedly) cannot forget anything... She has a perfect memory.

Here's a link to the article online: Total Recall: The Woman Who Can't Forget

By the end of the article, it becomes apparent that this woman does not possess a perfect memory. It describes how she only excels in recalling dates of television shows, disasters, and things relating to her own life. It suggests that she remembers her events and dates in her own life so well because she keeps extensive journals. The woman also mentions that she once had a scan of her brain done, and the only abnormal thing the doctor noted about it was that there was some resemblance between her brain and the brain of a person who suffers from OCD.

By now, you are probably asking yourself, "Why is TastyPrawn typing about this? I just want another funny story about Heath and Erik!" Hold on... I'm getting to my point.

This article resonated with me. You see, I often remember dates a little too well... And I used to have the tendency to get really peeved when someone didn't remember something I could recall so well. (It wasn't actually pointed out to me that my memory was in anyway abnormal until just two years ago. Up until then I genuinely thought that everyone-- or at least most everyone-- remembered as I did.)

In fact, here I was reading this article on the eve of the day that five years ago I... Well, what happened is pretty dull or unimportant, but I realized that it was about to be five years ago to that date.

The following sentence from the article hit home:

"Price has spent her whole life ruminating on the past, constructing timelines and lists, and contemplating the connections between one February 19 and the next."

Well, shit, that's pretty much me. Do you want to hear about how, excluding 2008's, the past five May 26ths have been similar? How about how the second Saturday in December was eerily similar, event-wise, in 2004 and 2005? No, no you don't. But if you did, I could tell you (if I feel like it).

Another part of this article struck a chord in me: Jill Price's extensive journals. I used to do this. I was mad journaling from 2004 until Friday, June 8, 2007 at 3:11 pm. I just suddenly stopped there. It's not even a good stopping point-- there is no closure. The entry begins with "I hate memories," and ends with "And that, right now, is my biggest regret."

The funny thing is I don't actually remember writing what I did, but I do remember coming home from work, taking some pills, turning on some Voxtrot (their self-titled LP, though I was only listening to the tracks "Kid Gloves," "Firecracker," and "Easy," over and over...), and crying that day, around that time.

So, why the hell did I stop journaling? And does that have anything to do with the lack of coincidence in my life these days? (There still are some, but no where near as many as there were during the goddamned years 2004 through 2006, and the coincidences that happen now are certainly not big enough to convince me of the existence of the supernatural anymore.)

I'm going to go ahead and blame all the craziness of my life during 2004-2006 on obsessive journaling. The normal* life I lead now is a result of me giving up the obsessive journaling. At least I can forget now. And, quite frankly, I enjoy forgetting.

*Some would say I now lead a dull life. I say so be it. At least my Saturday nights no longer consist of me going emo-crazy in a dirty stall in a live music joint with a broken A/C system downtown and/or getting drunk out of my mind, puking everywhere, crawling into a shower, lying down, and praying to god for "a sign."